Opinion: Kamala’s Kolumn – My Stellar Senate Hearing Performance
By Kamala Harris, Former Vice President of the United States and United States Secretary of Time Nominee
Dear Fellow Time Enthusiasts,
As I sit here reflecting on the past few days of my Senate confirmation hearings, I am filled with pride and gratitude. The questions have been tough, but I truly believe I’ve risen to the occasion with clarity, thoughtfulness, and, most importantly, an unshakable commitment to the principles of time.
Some might call it a “grilling,” but I call it an “opportunity to shine.” And shine, I have!
Answering Every Question
From the very first question posed by Senator Tom Cotton about leap years to Senator Schumer’s thoughtful inquiries about February’s length, I’ve made sure to provide comprehensive and meaningful answers. When asked about the budget for the Department of Time, I offered insights about the intersection of time and resources—because time, my friends, is the ultimate resource.
I could feel the room nodding along, utterly captivated by my responses. I noticed Senator Cotton furiously scribbling notes as I explained how tomorrow is simply today’s future and yesterday’s dream. At one point, I’m fairly certain I heard a faint “hmm, profound” from Senator Cruz.
Earning Bipartisan Respect
Let’s talk about the incredible bipartisan support I’ve received. Some might misinterpret a few frustrated sighs or bewildered expressions as dissatisfaction, but I know better. Those moments of silence? That’s not frustration—it’s reflection. When senators pause mid-question, they’re not lost; they’re awestruck.
Just yesterday, I saw Senator Josh Hawley rubbing his temples. It wasn’t out of confusion; it was because my insights on the resilience of time were giving him so much to think about. I am genuinely honored to have inspired such deep contemplation.
Clarifying February
A special shoutout to Senator Schumer, who asked a deeply philosophical question about the fairness of February. My response about February’s resilience as a short yet mighty month clearly resonated. The chuckles you might have heard in the room weren’t dismissive—they were the kind of joyful laughter that only comes from understanding something on a deeper level.
Onward to Tomorrow
As the confirmation hearings continue, I remain steadfast in my mission to bring equity, clarity, and a sense of wonder to the passage of time. I know I’ve done my best to ensure the senators are as excited about the future of the Department of Time as I am.
To my supporters, thank you for your unwavering belief in me. To my critics, I say: give it time.
Tomorrow is tomorrow’s today, and today is yesterday’s tomorrow. So let us all live this today with the confidence that our yesterdays have prepared us for the tomorrows to come.
With gratitude and optimism,
Kamala Harris
Future Secretary of Time
