MADISON, WI — In what was supposed to be a safe space for individuals to share and process their emotional triggers, a Triggered Anonymous meeting descended into utter pandemonium Thursday evening. The gathering, held at a local community center in Madison, Wisconsin, quickly became an ouroboros of outrage as attendees found themselves deeply offended by each other's expressions of trauma.
A Safe Space Becomes Anything But
The meeting began innocently enough, with the group’s facilitator, who goes by the name Rain (she/they) (formerly Rachel), encouraging everyone to share their triggers in a judgment-free environment. “This is a space where your truth can exist alongside everyone else’s truth,” Rain said in their opening statement. “Unless, of course, your truth invalidates someone else’s truth.”
The group nodded in agreement, unaware of the storm brewing beneath their collective commitment to inclusivity.
Trigger Domino Effect
The chaos began when attendee Jessica shared her trigger: the sound of clapping. “Every time someone claps, I feel like I’m being attacked,” she explained tearfully. The group sympathized until Marcus, sitting nearby, clapped his hands together instinctively.
“I’m sorry!” Marcus shouted. “It’s just how I express my agreement!” This apology, however, triggered Evelyn, who shared that she finds public apologies “performative and oppressive.”
Things escalated further when Sam admitted to being triggered by the phrase “calm down,” which prompted Alex to nervously whisper, “Everyone just needs to calm down.” Alex’s comment triggered Priya, who declared, “I find whispering inherently patriarchal and silencing!”
Within minutes, the group was embroiled in a verbal melee, each person demanding their own unique sensitivity be respected while simultaneously disregarding everyone else’s.
Facilitator's Best Intentions Fail
Rain, in an attempt to regain control, blew into a Tibetan singing bowl, an action meant to restore peace. Unfortunately, the tone triggered Lionel, who has a deep-seated fear of bell-like sounds due to a childhood trauma involving an ice cream truck.
“I thought this was a safe space!” Lionel cried before storming out, inadvertently knocking over the bowl, which triggered someone else’s fear of loud crashing noises.
A Lesson in Hyper-Sensitivity
The meeting was ultimately cut short when the group unanimously agreed that continuing to interact was “too emotionally dangerous.” Rain offered an apology but was swiftly accused of invalidating everyone's individual traumas by suggesting a collective solution.
One attendee, visibly shaken, summed up the evening, “I came here to heal, but I think I’ve left with 10 new triggers. I’ll never look at a Tibetan singing bowl the same way again.”
Future Meetings in Question
Triggered Anonymous organizers are now re-evaluating their format, with some suggesting individual one-on-one meetings to avoid the “trigger loop.” Others, however, argue that the entire concept is inherently flawed in a society where any interaction is likely to offend someone.
Until a solution is found, the group has tentatively suspended meetings, citing an ironic new trigger: the concept of Triggered Anonymous itself.