SACRAMENTO, CA — In a groundbreaking move celebrated by progressives and ridiculed by critics, California Governor Gavin Newsom has signed the Truth Liberation Act, into law effectively outlawing the use of facts in debates, classrooms, and legal proceedings if they conflict with someone’s feelings. The new legislation, hailed as a “win for emotional justice,” prioritizes individual experiences over what some are calling “outdated objectivity.”
The End of “Fact-Splaining”
During a press conference, Governor Newsom declared, “For too long, Californians have been shackled by the oppressive weight of facts. It’s time we let people tell their own truths, free from the tyranny of logic and evidence.”
Under the new law, statements like “two plus two equals four” could be considered invalid if they cause emotional distress or conflict with someone’s personal truth. Critics argue this creates a slippery slope, but proponents insist it’s a step toward equity.
Academic Reform
California’s education system will undergo sweeping changes. Math teachers, for instance, are now required to grade answers based on the emotional effort students put into solving problems, rather than their accuracy.
“This is an important shift,” said Dr. Harmony Vibes, a professor of post-modern arithmetic. “For years, we’ve oppressed students by telling them their answers were wrong. Who are we to impose rigid numerical standards? If little Ethan feels that two plus two equals five, we should celebrate his courage in challenging oppressive norms.”
Courts of Emotion
The legal system is also undergoing a transformation. Judges will now consider feelings as primary evidence in trials. Attorneys are encouraged to present arguments based on how their clients felt during alleged crimes, rather than relying on tangible evidence.
In a recent test case, a defendant charged with grand theft auto successfully argued that they “felt entitled” to the Lamborghini they were caught driving. The jury, moved by the defendant's tears, unanimously acquitted.
Business and Science
Corporate compliance is already underway. Companies in Silicon Valley are hosting workshops to help employees unlearn “fact-based thinking” in favor of more empathetic approaches. Even science is adapting, with researchers abandoning the scientific method in favor of “empathetic hypothesis testing.”
“Instead of asking ‘What is true?’ we now ask, ‘What feels right?’” explained Dr. Luna Eclipse, head of the state’s newly formed Department of Emotional Validation.
Mixed Reactions
Critics of the law are less enthusiastic. “This is madness,” said one anonymous academic. “Feelings are subjective. Facts keep us grounded. How are we supposed to function as a society without them?”
Supporters, however, remain unshaken. “Critics need to check their privilege,” said activist Willow Breeze. “If your truth is different from someone else’s, that’s fine—but don’t shove your ‘facts’ down their throat.”
Closing Thoughts
As California charts a bold new course into a world without facts, many are watching closely to see how this experiment in emotional governance plays out. Whether this is the dawn of a new era or the collapse of rational discourse remains to be seen.
For now, feelings reign supreme—and Californians couldn’t feel better about it.