Veteran actor Robert De Niro, known for his fiery anti-Trump tirades and promises to flee the United States, has revealed that he’s had a change of heart. The reason? A recent visit to his doctor confirmed what many suspected: De Niro is, quite literally, “full of hot air.”
The Diagnosis: A Revelation or an Excuse?
In a press conference held outside a Manhattan café (naturally one that Trump doesn’t own), De Niro shared his surprising medical news:
"My doctor told me, ‘Bob, all this hot air is weighing you down—you’re not going anywhere.’ And I thought, well, that explains a lot. So yeah, I’m staying. Deal with it."
The revelation comes after years of dramatic declarations. In 2016, De Niro famously vowed to move to Italy if Trump became president, a promise he reiterated during the 2024 campaign. However, with Trump now victorious, the Oscar-winning actor appears to be backtracking faster than a politician caught on a hot mic.
Why Italy Was Never an Option
When pressed about why he isn’t following through on his promise, De Niro had a laundry list of excuses.
"Italy’s great and all, but have you tried getting decent bagels there? Fuggedaboutit. Plus, my Italian is rusty, and by rusty, I mean non-existent. I can say ‘spaghetti’ and ‘cannoli,’ and that’s about it."
He also cited the hassle of packing up his Tribeca penthouse and missing out on New York’s theater scene.
"And let’s be real," he added. "Who’s gonna yell at tourists blocking the crosswalk if I’m gone?"
Critics Call Him Out
De Niro’s announcement has drawn mixed reactions. Supporters applauded his honesty, while critics were quick to remind him of his past promises.
"Typical Hollywood elite," said one X user. "All talk, no action. At least Cher had the decency to threaten to move to Jupiter."
Fox News commentator Tucker Carlson weighed in, saying:
"De Niro staying in the U.S. is the least surprising thing to happen all week. What’s next? Alec Baldwin being found guilty of shooting someone in the face?"
De Niro’s Response to the Backlash
True to form, De Niro didn’t hold back when addressing his detractors.
"You think I care what people say? I’ve been playing tough guys my whole life. You want me gone? Come and make me."
He then launched into an impromptu monologue, mixing lines from Goodfellas, The Godfather Part II, and a bizarre interpretation of Meet the Fockers.
A “New Chapter” in Staying Put
Despite the criticism, De Niro says he’s excited to remain in the U.S. and plans to channel his frustration into new projects.
"I’m thinking of making a movie about a guy who threatens to leave the country but doesn’t. We’ll call it The Departing...Not Really," he joked.
He also teased a potential stand-up career, saying,
"If I’m full of hot air, I might as well blow off some steam on stage, right?"
Hot Air Diagnosis Becomes a Meme
As expected, the internet has had a field day with De Niro’s diagnosis. Memes featuring his face superimposed on hot air balloons have gone viral, alongside captions like “The Real American Blimp” and “Full of Air, But Not Full of Action.”
De Niro, however, seems to be taking it in stride.
"Hey, if the hot air keeps me grounded, maybe it’s not so bad after all. Just means I’ll be here to keep calling out Trump. And that’s a role I never get tired of playing."
The Final Word
For now, Robert De Niro remains firmly planted on U.S. soil, hot air and all. Whether his next move involves another fiery rant, a new film, or a trip to his doctor for a second opinion, one thing’s clear: the actor isn’t going anywhere—and he’s got plenty to say about it.