LONDON, UK — Piers Morgan, the outspoken broadcaster and professional provocateur, has vehemently denied rumors that he was the infamous "Pigeon Lady" in the beloved holiday classic Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. Despite his protests, Not Quite News has uncovered compelling evidence suggesting otherwise.
Morgan: “I’ve Never Even Met a Pigeon”
In a fiery segment on his talk show Uncensored, Morgan addressed the rumors head-on.
“This is absolute rubbish!” he declared. “I was a serious journalist in the early '90s, not wandering around Central Park covered in birdseed! I’ve never even met a pigeon, let alone befriended an entire flock of them.”
However, Morgan’s denial only fueled speculation. Social media users quickly pointed out that his combative demeanor bears a striking resemblance to the character’s no-nonsense attitude.
“Piers Morgan IS the Pigeon Lady,” one user tweeted. “Change my mind.”
Not Quite News Investigates
Determined to get to the bottom of this avian mystery, Not Quite News conducted an extensive investigation. Our findings include:
- Timeline Match: Home Alone 2 was filmed in 1992, a period during which Morgan’s career was relatively quiet. Could he have had time to moonlight as a bird-loving recluse?
- Facial Similarities: A side-by-side comparison of Morgan and the Pigeon Lady reveals a striking resemblance, particularly around the eyes and smirk.
- Suspicious Tweets: In 2013, Morgan tweeted, “Birds are surprisingly clever creatures. People underestimate them.” Was this an accidental confession?
- Insider Tip: A former production assistant from Home Alone 2 contacted us, claiming, “The Pigeon Lady had a British accent off-camera. She kept complaining about ‘woke pigeons.’”
Pigeon Lady’s Original Actress Weighs In
Brenda Fricker, the Oscar-winning actress credited as the Pigeon Lady, remains unconvinced by Morgan’s denial.
“All I’ll say is that there were a few reshoots I couldn’t attend,” Fricker told reporters cryptically. “And someone else stepped in. Make of that what you will.”
Morgan’s Plausible Excuse
Morgan has presented an alibi, claiming he was busy covering the royal family for The Sun at the time. Yet skeptics argue this is the perfect cover story, as Morgan’s expertise in creating headlines could easily extend to manufacturing an alibi.
Public Reaction
The internet has, unsurprisingly, exploded with memes, theories, and relentless mockery. One particularly popular meme shows Morgan with pigeons perched on his shoulders, captioned: ‘Piers Morgan: First They Canceled Me, Then They Made Me Feed the Birds.’
Despite the backlash, Morgan remains defiant.
“If people want to believe this nonsense, fine,” he said. “But I will not stand for being pigeonholed into something I didn’t do!”
Case Closed?
While Morgan continues to deny his feathered past, the public may never truly know the full story. For now, the pigeons aren’t talking—and Morgan insists he’s a victim of foul play.