In what may be its boldest move yet, Meta has announced a new VR platform where all users will be represented by avatars that look exactly like Mark Zuckerberg. The platform, named ZuckerVerse, aims to create a “unified digital experience” by making everyone a carbon copy of the Meta CEO.
“Why waste time on complicated avatar customization when we’ve already perfected the ideal look?” Zuckerberg said during the unveiling event at Meta’s headquarters. “In ZuckerVerse, we’re all equal because we’re all me.”
Features of the ZuckerVerse
Meta promises ZuckerVerse will revolutionize how people interact in virtual spaces. Key features include:
- Zucktars™: Fully customizable Zuckerberg avatars where users can choose from a range of outfits, hairstyles (within Zuckerberg’s personal range, of course), and subtle variations in eyebrow intensity.
- Zuck Chat: Conversations automatically modulated to sound like Zuckerberg, complete with his signature monotone delivery.
- Zuck Dance Moves: Embrace your inner CEO with pre-programmed moves like the “Metaverse Shuffle” and the “IPO Slide.”
- Zuckface Recognition™: AI-driven algorithms that ensure all interactions reflect Zuckerberg’s carefully curated expressions of mild enthusiasm and deep focus.
Why Everyone Looks Like Zuck
According to Meta, standardizing avatars eliminates the "stress of self-representation" and ensures a “streamlined” virtual world. “Our research shows that people don’t really care what they look like online,” said Meta spokesperson Riley Botman. “And what better way to simplify things than by turning everyone into our beloved leader?”
The move aligns with Zuckerberg’s vision for the Metaverse as an inclusive, boundary-free space. “When everyone looks like me, there’s no room for bias,” he explained. “It’s the ultimate level playing field.”
User Reactions
Early testers of ZuckerVerse have had mixed feelings. “I didn’t realize how unsettling it would be to see a thousand Zucks dancing at a virtual nightclub,” said Sarah, a beta tester. “It’s like Black Mirror, but worse because it’s real.”
Others, however, are embracing the concept. “I’ve never felt so powerful,” said Tom, another tester. “Looking in the mirror and seeing Mark Zuckerberg staring back—it’s life-changing.”
Criticism and Praise
Critics argue the platform represents the height of corporate ego. “This isn’t about innovation; it’s about Zuckerberg wanting to be everyone, everywhere, all at once,” tweeted tech analyst Casey Tran.
Privacy advocates have also raised concerns, with some speculating that the uniformity will make it easier for Meta to track users. “When everyone looks like Zuck, you’re not anonymous; you’re just a barcode in his database,” said digital rights activist Laura Vega.
However, some tech enthusiasts are intrigued by the concept. “It’s weird, but it’s kind of brilliant,” said tech journalist James Patel. “Zuckerberg is leaning into the absurdity of his brand, and it might just work.”
Future Updates
Meta has big plans for ZuckerVerse. Upcoming features include:
- ZuckPets™: Digital companions that all resemble Zuckerberg’s dog, Beast.
- ZuckNation™: A virtual government where Zuckerberg clones run for office and vote for themselves.
- ZuckWorld™ Expansion Packs: Explore virtual destinations like Mark’s dorm room where Facebook was founded, or a simulation of his infamous congressional hearings.
Launch Date
ZuckerVerse is slated for a mid-2025 release, with early access available to Meta employees and die-hard Zuckerberg fans.
As the world prepares for a digital utopia where everyone has the same face, one thing is clear: the future of VR is Zucked, whether we like it or not.