“I just needed to escape all the negativity,” says Ellen from her private yacht docked in Monaco.
Ironically, the announcement comes just a few years after Ellen’s own workplace was exposed for its reportedly toxic and unkind environment, which led to her show’s cancellation.
Ellen’s Big Escape
Ellen broke the news on an exclusive livestream from her yacht, humorously (or not) named Be Kinder. Floating just off the coast of Monaco, Ellen addressed her fans and critics.
“I’ve spent my life spreading joy and kindness,” Ellen said, wearing oversized sunglasses and sipping what appeared to be a $200 bottle of rosé. “But lately, people have been so, so mean to me. The comments, the tweets—it’s just relentless. And honestly? I don’t deserve this.”
When asked if she saw the irony in fleeing negativity after years of allegedly mistreating her staff, Ellen smiled serenely. “Oh, honey, no. That’s ancient history. Let’s talk about how mean I’ve been treated, okay? It’s exhausting to always be the victim.”
Social Media Reacts: “The Irony Is Palpable”
Ellen’s announcement sent X into a frenzy, with the hashtag #EllenRuns trending within minutes.
One user quipped, “Ellen fleeing mean people is like Gordon Ramsay fleeing chefs who yell too much.” Another wrote, “Guess Ellen finally found a place where her staff won’t make eye contact—because she doesn’t have one.”
The backlash isn’t surprising, considering the revelations that came out during her show’s final years. Former employees accused the comedian of fostering a toxic work environment, with claims ranging from micromanagement to outright hostility.
Life in Exile
Ellen seems to be taking her exile in stride. Reports suggest she has purchased a sprawling villa in the south of France, complete with a “positivity room” where no one is allowed to criticize her. The villa is also rumored to have a guest wing dedicated to her dogs, whom Ellen describes as “the only beings who truly understand me.”
Her wife, actress Portia de Rossi, has been supportive but reportedly rolled her eyes when Ellen referred to herself as “a kindness martyr” during breakfast.
Critics Pile On
Unsurprisingly, Ellen’s critics have not held back. Former talk show host Rosie O’Donnell commented, “I didn’t flee when Ellen roasted me in the early 2000s, so why’s she running now? Take the heat, girl.”
Even former staff members have spoken out. One anonymous source remarked, “Maybe Monaco will teach her what kindness really looks like—or at least how not to demand a personal dressing room for her dogs.”
Ellen’s Final Message to America
Before ending her livestream, Ellen offered one last message to her home country:
“America, I hope you learn to be kind again. And when you do, maybe I’ll come back. Until then, I’ll be here, living my truth and eating croissants in peace.”
The livestream ended with Ellen accidentally muting herself while trying to show viewers her villa’s gold-plated kindness shrine.
What’s Next for Ellen?
Rumors suggest Ellen may be planning a new venture in Europe: a reality show called The Kindness Chronicles, where she travels the globe judging people on how kind they are. Critics already speculate it’ll be less “judge” and more “criticize.”
For now, Ellen remains abroad, dodging the “meanness” of a nation that once adored her—and perhaps, learning what it feels like to be on the other side of the unkindness she so famously preached against.