In a candid and shocking interview, an anonymous fentanyl dealer from southern Texas shared his gratitude for the Biden-Harris administration, crediting their lack of law enforcement and relaxed border policies for what he called “the best four years of my career.”
“It’s been a golden era for business,” the dealer, who goes by the alias 'Carlos', told reporters. “Before 2021, it was hit or miss. But now? Every day feels like Black Friday.”
The Border Boom
Carlos specifically singled out Vice President Kamala Harris, the administration’s self-proclaimed “Border Czar,” for what he described as a hands-off approach to border security.
“When they announced she’d be in charge of the border, I thought, ‘Oh no, this could be trouble.’ But I couldn’t have been more wrong,” Carlos said, grinning. “She barely showed up. It’s like being handed the keys to the city!”
While Harris visited the border a total of two times in four years, illegal crossings reached record highs, and drug cartels reportedly took advantage of the lack of oversight.
“Honestly, it’s been a breeze,” Carlos added. “The border's so open it’s like a turnstile at Disneyland—except nobody’s checking tickets.”
Relaxed Enforcement, Record Profits
Carlos explained how the Biden administration’s policies have created a favorable environment for his operations.
“The lack of enforcement was a game-changer,” he said. “There’s no fear anymore. Police aren’t chasing us down, and the penalties, if you get caught, are a joke.”
According to recent statistics, fentanyl seizures at the border have increased, but many argue that those numbers pale in comparison to the amount making its way into American communities.
“Every shipment that gets caught, five more slip through,” Carlos said confidently. “And let’s not even start on the stash houses—they’re everywhere.”
Critics Slam the Administration
Critics of the administration point to these failures as evidence of gross negligence. Republican Senator Ted Cruz described the situation as “a national security and public health catastrophe, created by policies that make it easier for dealers like Carlos to operate.”
Others argue that Vice President Harris’s role as Border Czar was nothing more than a title. “She was supposed to secure the border,” said Texas Governor Greg Abbott. “Instead, she secured the cartels’ bottom line.”
A Parting Gift
As President Biden and Vice President Harris prepare to leave office in two days, Carlos offered his thanks one last time.
“Honestly, I couldn’t have asked for a better administration,” he said. “If I could, I’d send them a gift basket—maybe some cookies shaped like dollar signs. Or maybe just a kilo of fentanyl, as a thank-you for helping my business boom!”
Carlos also reflected on the incoming administration. “With Trump coming back, I know I’ll have to be more cautious. He’s serious about enforcement, and I don’t want to get deported,” he admitted. “Yeah, I’m an illegal immigrant, but under Biden, that wasn’t a problem. Now? It might be a different story.”
The Aftermath
As fentanyl overdoses continue to plague communities across the nation, the incoming Trump administration is vowing to take swift and decisive action. Incoming Border Czar Tom Homan didn’t mince words in a press conference earlier this week.
“Let me be very clear,” Homan said. “Anyone found in this country illegally will be deported. Anyone selling illegal drugs will be arrested and convicted. And any state or local government that refuses to cooperate with federal deportation efforts? They’ll be held accountable—arrested and locked away if necessary.”
Homan’s strong stance signals a stark shift in policy, with the Trump administration promising to restore law and order at the border and crack down on drug trafficking. As Homan concluded, “The days of open borders and lawlessness are over. If you’re here to break the law, your time is up.”