Privacy Policy

Thank you for visiting the Not Quite News site. The appearance of concern for your privacy is important to us. Even more important is our desire to stay out of the US legal system since we tend to get the rough end of it every time we find ourselves there. It is because of this that we provide this privacy statement. We hope we have made it sufficiently long and complicated that you will not read the entire document. This will allow us to get away with pretty much anything we want and to our point of view that is a good thing.

The Information We Collect

We honestly try to collect as little data as possible. Even with the low cost of hard drives these days, it is just a big hassle and we are not even sure what we should do with the information we have. Since our web software provides the ability for you to add comments, we may have access to the following items of information from you:

  • Name
  • Email
  • Website
  • Comment(s)

Please note that we are not gullible enough to believe that you have provided your real name or email address. It is a good bet that the name and email address you provide will be each be a sophomoric attempt at humor. This will precede your comment which based on our experience will be a variation of “this sucks”.

How We Use the Information

If your attempt at humor is good enough to extract a chuckle from our unpaid intern then we might pass it around the office. In the unlikely event that you provide a real name and email address, we may use it to contact you. However, it is much more likely that we will just lose it.

For additional information on our policy on user comments, see our NQN Comment Policy.

Privacy and Journalistic Integrity

We really think it is funny that we were even able to put those words into a title without breaking our text editor. It is like putting the word “ethical” in close proximity to “advertising”. You can force them together but that doesn’t mean it makes any sense. ¬†Seriously, if you expect privacy in any aspect of your life, you haven’t been paying attention. If we or any of our competitors put you in a story, then you become a “public figure.” Once you are a public figure, we can say pretty much anything we want without fear of repercussions. So unless you want us to share the details of your alleged love child who was conceived after you allegedly ingested mass quantities of your favorite addiction, all while allegedly committing assorted crimes against humanity, back off.

Obligatory Boilerplate

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“You have zero privacy anyway. Get over it.” – Scott McNealy

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