Athens Approach Turns Debt Crisis into Debt Opportunity

Greece-0169In a press release today has declared that they are adopting a radical new method of dealing with their liabilities. To make this as simple as possible for those who still have not figured out hyper-text links, we have included the press release here in its entirety.

NQP is always looking for creative alternatives in managing our corporate finances. Given the nature of our revenue trickle, it is of critical importance that we do everything we can to reduce expenditures. In following the european news this last weekend the Bored of Directors have adopted a new strategy in dealing with our creditors. After a vote of the members present, we have decided that we are going to simply stop paying our creditors. We feel certain that this will have an immediate and positive effect on our bottom line. Since this decision was reached by a democratic vote it has been labelled as “The Athens Approach” to give proper due [1] to the cradle of democracy. In announcing this decision, the chairman announced that our creditors should applaud us for turning a “debt crisis” into a “debt opportunity.”

Any of our creditors who fail to recognize this vote of the people must be communists. Since our founding priciples prevent us from dealing with any non-capitalists we can no longer do business with them. This includes making any further payments so either way we are covered.

In a message to our shareholder, the bored explained that this only applied to those companies and individuals that we owe money. If anyone who owes us money tries the Athens Approach then the bored vowed to “sue their assets.”




Photo by Dennis Jarvis used under CC

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