Movie Reviews from the Trailer

If you are one of our faithful readers then you both know that NQN is the premiere news and disinformation site with this address. In spite of our stature in the industry, the recent decline in funding for hard news means that we are constantly searching for ways to economize. We have long wanted to add movie reviews to our site but have not been able to fit it into our budget. We could receive early screenings or free passes from the studios but we refuse to compromise our journalistic integrity so cheaply. [If you are interested in  our current rates to compromise our journalistic integrity, contact our business office at [email protected]]

It occurred to us that we do not actually need to see the entire movie to write a review. The majority of recent movie releases reveal every major plot point along with all of the best special effects and funny lines in their trailers. Fortunately for us, not only is it free to view movie trailers online but the average length of a trailer matches our combined attention span almost exactly.

With that introduction out of the way, here is our first Movie Review from the Trailer. We hope you like it more than we liked the movie.

 

Pitch Perfect 2 Movie Review from the Trailer

Simply stated, this has to be the worst baseball movie ever. The trailer starts with several members of the baseball team singing at a camping trip / sleepover. The closest they got to batting practice was a pillow fight. Then they get in a circle and put their hands in together to do the traditional “Go Team” but they are not in uniform and the whole exercise lacks the enthusiasm you would expect of a real team. Now I understand why I never heard of “Pitch Perfect 1” if this is the producers’ idea of a sports movie.

I’m not sure where the movie goes from here. It looks like they go to some sort of disco but all of the quick cuts just left me confused. Why didn’t they just follow the tried and true formula for sports movie success? All you need is a lovable group of cliche characters (and one reluctant superstar) that after a brief period of dissension band together to overcome some evil adversaries and against all predictions and odds they emerge triumphant? What is so hard about that? Any group of idiots can make a successful sports movie that way and Hollywood has proven this to be true year after year with groups of idiots after groups of idiots. All this reviewer can say is that if this is what passes for a sports movie today then we should reconsider whether there will be crying in baseball.

PS – Speaking of the singing, it was the one part of the trailer I enjoyed. While I would not pay to see this movie I would almost consider buying the soundtrack. The songs are catchy but you would think they could afford a band or at least a piano to back up the voices. A decent sound track can add a lot to a movie even if the rest of it is formulaic. This is another lesson that Hollywood apparently needs to learn.

 

Photo sourced from Wikipedia / public domain.

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